The piece that women have found by meeting alone and getting together. In coming into conversation, they fear, they will fall back into old roles and end up just taking care of men, not taking care of themselves. And I think men have same fears. I can pay attention to me! Coming into conversation with each other does not mean abandoning that connection with your own affinity group, your own gender culture.
That is the strength from which we need to expand in order to have these conversations. Bernetta How can a man and a woman work together on these issues in their own lives, on a one-to-one basis with your partner? Elizabeth: To begin with, men and women need to accept the idea that there are these different cultures. These different cultures have different expectations, needs and taboos.
We need to educate women and men about these cultures. For example, over and over again in our workshops we hear that women want men to talk more. Men feel that women bug them too much to talk. They want to be left alone, to retreat and have more space. Elizabeth: There are all sorts of judgments that get bandied back and forth. We need to recognize that these are themes that go on, that men by their very nature like to have more space than women, and need to heal themselves by drawing into themselves on a fairly regular basis.
Women need connection. Recognizing that takes away the whole blame thing. Couples in our groups gain more understanding about the differences, and that tends to raise less blame. A woman gets her sense of accomplishment by having created a collaboration with the children, women, the church and their social network. Women weave the social fabric together.
They get their sense of satisfaction from having done that.
10 cool summer reads
When we understand this, then we say that neither men nor women are wrong for being like that. Men had to go out and hunt. Moving in silence and stealth. Women had millions of years of evolution as gatherers, where they talked to one another.
Women did child care. There was a lot of face-to-face contact, a lot of socializing. Of course we have a different society, but those old tunes are still being hummed by the DNA. A part of us still dances to those old tunes. A part of us also has the social conditioning, when men are encouraged to make the touchdown, to be the hero. That comes back to the one-to-one relationship. The woman says, "Why don't you tell me you love me? I fixed the screen door. I worked 10 hours of overtime this week, so we could take a vacation this summer.
One of the things we hear a lot of in our councils is that both women and men feel that the important things that they bring to the relationship are not seen. Elizabeth: The theme of invisibility comes up a lot.
Women feel invisible in different arenas. In the workplace. One story we hear a lot is of the woman who suggests an idea and is ignored. Ten minutes later a man says the same thing, and everyone says, "Great idea! At the same time, men feel invisible at home, that their contribution to the relationship is not recognized or valued, or even seen. In our councils we have enough time to work a lot and get down into this stuff, and we can actually begin to negotiate back and forth.
The guy says, "I really have to retreat when we have an argument. Basically you negotiate compromise and taking turns. When a woman asks him how he feels about something, she drops a bucket into that deep well and starts cranking it back up. It may be Tuesday before he knows what it was that he was feeling in that argument on Sunday. When a man says that a woman is a nag, a shrew, or a process junkie, he is pathologizing the female mode of feeling.
When a man feels up against the wall.
- The House of the Wolfings.
- From Malthus Stagnation to Sustained Growth: Social, Demographic and Economic Factors (Central Issues in Contemporary Economic Theory and Policy)!
- Serendipitously Rich: How to Get Delightfully, Delectably, Deliciously Rich (or Anything Else You Want) in 7 Ridiculously Easy Steps.
- 10 cool summer reads.
- Broadway My Street!
- Shop by category.
Bert: Part of the gender conflict may arise from our myths about gender. You talk about Aphrodite as a goddess of the sun. In our culture, we are so used to "Mother Earth, Father Sky. This style of imagination breeds partnership. The alternative is to continue to divide the universe, allocating one domain to the female gender, and the other to the male.
This now-outmoded style of imagination breeds war. Elizabeth: What we have come to believe is that the earth is female and the sky is male. They can't feel that sense of connection with all of what we associate with Mother Earth, which is generativity, nurturing, home, a sense of connection of the body. All of those things are interpreted as being female.
By the same token, we have imagined the sky as being male.
The family herpes – introducing cold sores
When women imagine themselves as becoming assertive, aggressive, fierce and powerful in the daylight world, powerful with a lot of physical vitality, even the kind of spiritual consciousness that is associated with the sun and the swirl of energy, then in order for women to get in touch with those qualities they have to imagine themselves as being in touch with their masculinity. How can women come into the workplace, get in touch with their focused and goal-oriented power in the world, manifesting power, power to make money, power to be successful, in a way that is not necessarily getting in touch with their masculine?
We think of this as being part of how men and women are intrinsically different, that women will have a different style of coming into the world and into the workplace. And by the same token, there might be a particular, masculine mode of creating a home, parenting, getting in touch with your spirituality and self-reflective mode of being. This has been one of the shadow sides of monotheism. The foundational myths of Western culture are also the foundational myths for gender war. Women divorced from their power in the world, and men divorced from their bodies and their capacity to nurture.
Old man God is in the sky and looks over the earth. So when men imagine themselves as like this sky god, which is the primary image of sacred masculinity in our culture, we think, "Gee, I have to be like the sun. Always the same. Chandra and Soma from East India. The Sumerian Inanna. Osiris was the Nile river. He was cyclical, like the moon, ebbing and flowing every year, re-greening the earth. I just want to be alone, away from the world.
Then I shift again, and I come back into being in the world. My sexuality is like that. Male sexuality is much more like the moon than the sun. It rises and falls, If we think that it can only rise, when it falls we feel lesser than a man. But it deeply affects how we think about ourselves. Camille Paglia talks in her book Sexual Personae about the Dionysian swamp of nature that women are sucked down into.
BERNETTA, The not-so-good witch by Mary Martin Benton, Paperback | Barnes & Noble®
Claiming your achievement in the world is not through claiming your masculinity per se, but through claiming the solar goddess. Elizabeth: The solar goddess. I like the idea of feminine fire, this fierce femininity. What could it mean for a woman to come into the workplace with a strong femininity, and still being in her power? Most of us have come to see these as mutually exclusive.
Women have thought they have had to divorce themselves from their femininity and become more like men in order to be more powerful in the world. They have to put on the same kind of male coat of armor that men have had to wear. The solar gives us something that is almost like mythological permission or inspiration to imagine ourselves as shining light.
We have a lot to discover about what, exactly, that would look like. We have an image of the masculine archetype of the king. What is the queen? The queen is not must a feminine king, like Elizabeth I chopping off a lot of heads. What is queen energy? Aaron: I think it involves the feminine fire that Liz has been talking about.
And feminine authority. It incorporates, for example, for both men and women, the capacity to undertake the underworld journey.
pt.ituzyxymeliv.tk In our culture, this is not considered to be strong. The capacity to express emotion is considered weak. To fall apart.
- United States Army, Technical, Technical Bulletin, U.S. Army, TB 1-1520-237-20-245, Plus 500 free US military manuals and US Army field manuals when you sample this book;
- Bernetta, the Not-So-Good Witch.
- Poetry Friday?
- Passar bra ihop;
- Tuthilltown Spirits, Gardiner: Hours, Address, Tuthilltown Spirits Reviews: 4.5/5!
- Springing Up (McGuire Collection Book 2).